now and then

i decide
you won't be among the stars
when i look you won't
lie inside a dusty book
your heart won't say to me the words
mouthed in a different tongue
even my own
your eyes won't lie
a few inches away and a truth
won't rise in another world
to shine its light on me
i decide to hold you
and the world won't say
what you meant to say
what i mean to you
among our pacific silences
your hands won't grip
mine in fear need pity pain only let
the warmth remain
i decide what is real
and remove this screen
this blue concrete smoke
between our eyes one day
at a time we are glorious
and you mine
this time its now