Sunday, January 06, 2013

my prayer for writing

I come to this desk daily. I come alone, and terrified. I come to this desk without any expectation outside the pages I will fill. I come knowing that a few tea stained pages, a few kb files with my heart and soul on it, have meanings beyond my understanding. I come in peace, in anger, in desperation, in war, in love, in lust, in envy, in happiness, in hate, in fear, in boredom, in excitement, in utero.

I come to this desk every day not knowing if I will ever come again. I come knowing I can never stay. I know this because I come with no recommendations, no baggage, unarmed, unclothed. I come knowing that when I leave the desk, I will feel happier, richer and more at peace. And that is still not enough to guarantee I will come tomorrow.

I come to this desk knowing that I will often not make any sense, I will often be corrected, often by myself. I come to this desk to come closer to truth, my truth, to examine how beautiful it is, to have one perfect moment with it, and never talk about it again. I come with humility, to be granted permission over myself

I come with an open mind and an open heart, wearing my best possible honesty with the most colors, and adding more every day. I come with the power of echoes and the power of silence. As so many have before me, I come because I want to and because I'm good at it

I come each day aware of myself and my reality and its constant demands, I come aware and thankful and unapologetic of the sacrifices I make and my loved ones make, so I can sit here each day, I come to be only with myself, to find my own voice. I come aware that this time is entirely intangible, and in real world terms, irrelevant. I come each day to change reality

Reposted - After a 2 year self-imposed exile, to reaffirm faith

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