terra firma

I gave up the sky today, for myself, for those around me, to lean on terra firma. To turn with my feet in four directions, to sit and stand and walk as directed, I gave up control today. Not easy not, its fearful scary. But to live in the shadow of the valley is longer and more constant as an ache, as a regret, as a douser of energy. So with the wisdom of age, the mellow strings of Puccini playing in the background, and a faint sort of hope for progress, I pad flat footed across terra carpeta, holding distrust and disdain away with considerable force, teacup close with same. I tried simultaneously to switch off the powerhouse, but it cannot be quelled, so with the best of two hands, I moved it along the paths of progress, learning, understanding, sorting, channelling. With dubious world impact, but thats sky talking. To savor the passing moments, the connections, the music, the food and drink, to me, thats a fight to the death. But I get better, I remember more of today than I would have at the end of a day two years ago. After dealing with lifes shitstorms, which by the way I thought I was done with, but apparently not, the anger, the fear, paranoia, anxiety, they are all there. They travel yet with, but im able to choose now. The wisdom of earth is peaceful and freeing, im not really made for thousand foot journeys, a random wander hop with occasional lookback to paint the most convenient picture, thats about my speed