a candlelight vigil

im about halfway down now. I thought its a bridge but its a well, scream, scream, its a well, ITS A WELL! I did sense the downhill in the darkness but I never drowned when I pushed off and leapt, so I wasnt sure. 

I often see your face in the darkness, forehead caved in, with a golf ball sized shrunken crater where your nose used to be, and you said, you said to me, I want to be, I think that will fix everything, I feel the energy feminine coursing through me, no no, its hopelessness, not you, that ones me. 

I thought life was better than this, that we were together, better than this, everytime I see myself in the light, its horrifying, horror upon horror, sandwiched between nightmare, surrounded by the dead, the infinite dead, the graph in-progress ones, the graph planned ones, what the hell is the point or need for creation, I wish I could go faster.