Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Luck Pusher

I am playing hookey today, chickening out of a certification I should have given...Its a thrill, rather like bungee jumping, especially after an eight hour high on caffeine, sugar and cheese (The book had only pizza and starbucks examples to demostrate all concepts...whats a pig to DO???)

Right now, my creative energies are on full blast, as generally happens when I have other far more important things to do and am actively dodging them... I was remembering a some quotes I had read a long long time ago in a book called the "Cynics book of quotations"...

Of all unlikely places, I found this book in the Salem Public Library and had fully intended to flick it. The last time it was checked out was 3 years before...And I had no doubt the previous reader was unworthy and so I felt fully justified, even honor bound in making off with it...Unfortunately, my folks found the book in my safe keeping and dragged it back...

I never found the book again... The crimes that are committed in the name of honesty! Well, long story short, I remembered some of the quotations in the book, googled the author, and found some absolute gems :) ...Here's a selection

By Dorothy Parker,

~ If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, It was against her better judgment.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Women and elephants never forget.

It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them.

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
After four I'm under my host.

If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think "How lucky are the dead."
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live.

(To an actor who kept talking of his 'schedule' using the British pronunciation) If you don't mind my saying so, I think you're full of skit.

Hopkins : "Don't you think she ought to wear a brassiere in this scene?"
Dorothy : "God. No. You've got to have something in the show that moves."

Ilka Chase : "Not only was Clare (Booth) loyal to her friends she was very kind to her inferiors.
Dorothy : "And where does she find them ?"

Frank Case (Manager of Hotel where she was staying) "Do you have a gentleman in your room?"
Dorothy : "Just a minute. I'll ask him."

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think

Now I know the things I know,
And I do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone

By the time you swear you are his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite and undying
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying

My land is bare of chattering folk;
The clouds are low along the ridges,
And sweet's the air with curly smoke
From all my burning bridges.

When told that a certain woman would not hurt a fly, Dorothy Parker retorted, "Not if it was buttoned up"

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