up, up and away

 

Distance. To see ourselves as a whole, to see the street next to the blind alley. To turn around when a wall looms, and move faster, further. When child ran across the street, he didn't want to be hit by a bus. He only wanted to go across. In the distance, a big blue bus with a glass vignette grew. He lived but all their hearts started running a little faster, like his little legs. The driver, the passengers, his yelling mom, the shoplifter in the department store across, the homeless man forming a cliche on the street.

Tomorrow, lil boy will wear a leash, lest he run too far away too soon. The time for great distance is not yet here. Today lets pretend he just won't grow.

I saw you in the street, you came right up to me, I reached up, further and further till my toes hurt, and yet, I couldn't reach you. Then you bent over me and the darkness returned. And you were gone, like you never existed. I stood in the severe daylight thinking, was it all subreal, was it a trick of the light? How many tricks does light play in one lifetime, in one imagination?

I dreamed of you, that night, I didn't sleep, I couldn't see for all the restless darkness around. You were a woman, standing opposite me at a counter, one I could never cross, no matter how hard I tried. And I have no idea why. Why you were a woman, why you stood there, why I stood here, why I couldn't cross this perfectly ordinary polished wood, waist high table top seperating us.

And I was afraid, so afraid, that we were born to expand. Like balloons and corporations, to breathe more every day, and keep growing. To put distances between us and all we need. We used to think we need. We don't need.

Someday my dear, I'll wail for hours from across the galaxy and all you will hear is a faint, I miss you. Meanwhile, lets lift our weapons, walk back ten paces, and run away together. Meanwhile lets dig a hole underwater, slow down our existance and breathe loudly.

Meanwhile, lets spin the wheel a little faster so our destiny can race through. Lets solve that puzzle that echoes so many times before my voice reaches your mouth. Lets walk our hips a little closer and wait, until the wind blows away.

Our skins have already agreed to shed and slide away, if you would just make a little snuggle room for me on the couch. Just for now, lets hold two different hands together, before its time to grow again