Saturday, November 06, 2010

For want of a Hooglas

All Sincadinna asked was - "Can you bring a Hooglas back from Serdifisten?"

And there were twenty expedai. They all had the same outfit on, ten feathers of ten colors, one for each sense, one for each limb. Each limb, accentuated by feather, was immobile, and each sense, accentuated by feather, was alert. Also immobile. These were living furniture, arranged to Voluptian perfection.

They were of course, stunned into immobility by the question, questions implied answers, and this one was a particularly dangerous one - it implied a yes-or-no.

But you can't say yes or no without considering ten thousand different variables and a few Vindanium birds, to make the bet exciting. What if they said yes and Gelsmahe exploded? What if they said no and Gelsmahe exploded? Paradox never worried the expedai as much as the step they would have to take towards it. Or towards anywhere for the matter, oh the horror!

And then one of them started talking, a reddish feather in the center of the group waggled up and down. Exp1 confirmed that such a decision was statistically impossible, there were too many variables and coefficients and black holes involved, and moreover, decisions like this were best left to the Serdifisten, they were the planetary containers of Hooglas and it depended on them if they would consider their exponents and coefficients in detail before releasing one to the expedai.

And moreagainover, if they did get lucky enough to release a Hooglas into the possession of the expedai of Gelsmahe, their gods may or may not let it be released from captivity to the King of the Worlds, and there was another inherent paradox there, another yes-no catastrophe that awaited,

Exp1 had to stop because his face had become dangerously green with words. Exp2, reddish feather right of Exp1, started waggling.

Even as Humtrifin prayed to all the gods of Gelsmahe that he had a different thing to say, ANY different thing, or at the very least, the courtesy to say "What he said" with a blue feathered finger pointing back at Exp1,

Exp2 confirmed that such a decision was potentially devastating to Gelsmahe and its precious cargo, and hence, an implied loss of eternal proportions to the entire world, and moreover, the Hooglas' had personalities, the Hooglas they chose might not leave Serdifisten, it might fall off on one of the bounces, and then the whole situation would of course have to be started again, perhaps even again, and moreagainover, its not easy to just get a Hooglas without a sacrifice, a ritual and a living limb.

Such a calamitous decision would probably mostly actually generally frequently require a task committee and ten thousand expedai, their lives dedicated to the cause, and how did each of the ten thousand FEEL about this dedication, and what if they did not all agree that a Hooglas from Serdifisten was emotionally correct or even generally accepted or culturally offensive or religiously sacred or rationally possible?


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