phlegmatic ruminations

the perfect place for a good fever is made of darkness, silence and simple things that cool - water, sweat, tears. I would like to add my gentle embellishments - a good book, ginger tea, jethro tull playing august rain, or any squeaky instrumental - flute, violin, lemon juice, occasional chore shouted in by authority figures - spouse, son, anybody, a soothing scent to foil the suspicious odors that suddenly develop, preferably incense, recently acquired from india, ooo fiire. theyre all still not enough, to induce stillness, to enjoy my comfortable numbness, to stay losing time. inside the fever I really have no way to tell, if ive been here long enough, if its the same as before, if i progress, if i accumulate, where my rainbow phase dammit. my iguana like existance is supported by a vast array of hyperlinks, people are too much in fevers, incoming bundles of cravings and bias. also kindness, where hyperlinks tend to face existential dilemmas. id like to believe this is temporary, as many of my fun fevers have been, but theres so much permanence in this one, wherever I turn, theres this sense of, um, well, itll come back in a minute

a modern fantasy

in the somewhat disappointing absence
of intricate design and jewel inlay
in my cookware, of lace lattice
in my non existent curtains
a short supply of opal earrings
that catch the light just so
no swish of silk behind me
catching at doorstops
as I progress from room to room
I find daily entertainment
in imaginary conversation
with complete strangers
excuse me, good sir
would you think me
culturally or religiously offensive
if I asked you how long
it takes to shampoo and condition
your lovely flowing beard
till it gets that fluffy, can I touch
oh you would? then I wont

hacking at solid ground

when the canopy of stars
has been made
sandalwood turned to sky
all lights have dimmed and blazed
just right, just then
my hands still reach somedays
feel ready and justified to claw at
more than I can reach
more time, more bevel
if today I could have the power
to stretch forth two hands
and reach somewhere
change someone
hold on to something
then everything will be all right

waver

I am so rusty my bones creak, not from lack of material, life has been full of it, just the whole thought circle is getting so repetitive, each time I put fingers to keyboard, I am afraid of disappearing in a cloud of rhetoric and self inficted boredom, and survival baby, survival, ice pick to snow mountain, wind whistling, imminent frostbite, survival is what its all about. and finger foods. mostly survival. Also, im not super sure what finger foods are. Or mulberry bushes. I would google it now, but that would deprive the world of this piece of scintillating literature, takes away somewhat to hold forth Google defines finger foods as... Or maybe thats exactly what I should do, reinvent rhetoric, reinvent myself, phoenix from um, wildly average ashes. And it dawns on me, as it has a few years back, that religion would be very useful here, to inject a hearty dose of okay move on and do the good work of worthy usefulness. The days I want to desperately believe in something are now replaced with the days I want to desperately disbelieve in everything, which basically means theres a lot of good work to be done, but im so comfy, leave me alone. The evolution of my days from a series of extraordinary events to a series of unfortunate noises have been tediously catalogued, I feel like I have discharged this responsibility with courage, ableness and a rare grace. Also, today was a good day.

ohare...igi...maa

September was a hard month for me. I lost my family, my yoga teacher, my job and my home. Ok, to moderate the melodrama, they just moved away, its temporary but isnt everything? After a 14 hour flight where I was required to do nothing but vacillate, I am more at peace with life and times. At least I have a plan and hope. Doing nothing in between, is after all, the dream.

The flight was surprisingly uneventful, had a flavor of the Grand Trunk Express in AC, complete with a symphony of miserable tots, pantry car, and disapproving paati in first class. Food was awesome!

IGI Airport is beautiful, overhaul totally worked. Food court has kabutars, obviously. I expect they are the next purely indoor species, after call center and software engineers. Rs.125 for idli sambar. I experienced a rare food based discretion and did not buy it. Going to be money free for next yeh long, the have nots will have to wait. Course, I did tip the airline ten times that, so its unlikely im flush with new found wisdom, but every bit counts. Hope spouse and mommy dont read this one.

Moving on to next Aircraft based Adventure. Pass a Starbucks, a Cafe Coffee Day, waitaminit, coffee is Rs 150 wtf? Im weakening on the Idli Stand. Pass Oman Air, other than the odd family, mostly mallu guys going for jobs. At least some things havent changed. Finally on Terminal 19B to Chennai. I used to take bus 19B from KK Nagar to school when I was 15. Apparently I have been upgraded. Delhi is 37 deg, Chennai should be lovely :)

After acquiring a certain degree of fatness, and various yuppie phobias, I will now be entering the direct range of the old tartar's area of effect spells. Sighhhhh

*Pic is a giant nipple sculpture in middle of IGI airport, other side is the Buddha, of course

The Chicago AWS Summit

Terodactile and Hormonica are mostly dormant creatures. We exert ourselves into mild activity only if we feel creatively motivated, as in "If you do not pay rent by tomorrow, we will send you an eviction notice" or Babyganix' latest suicide attempt. Yesterday Hormonica went to Chicago city to learn Amazon Web Services, and generally meet and make connections that may benefit her, networking being of course, one of her core strengths.

Chicago town is a city like any other, big fancy city blocks, dying big fancy city blocks, and construction in between. Its also very beautiful with art all over, will post a pic if I can. My favorite part is the Gotham city style railway running through, gives it a personality!

She was coopted to the McCormick place, which is truly breathtaking. But she was there to tap on a computer screen and look wise as a lot of data is tossed at her frisbee style. She has missed almost every frisbee thrown at her, near unbeatable record. She does fetch extremely well though.

First thing she did on arrival was of course, scope out all the restrooms. This time, she was not underwhelmed, the bathrooms there have a floor that sparkles all diamond like.

She also managed to see the rooftop garden. AWESOME view! Nice summer dream location. One building looks very much like Chennai Central. Also the Grand Ballroom, which was a really Big Room.

The training was nice, but juxtaposed in such a gorgeous place, it was extremely severe and gravitatious. No wind beneath the skirts.

Somewhere around 3 o clock, when she went on her evening coffee trundle, tragedy struck! Someone, and im not naming names here, but it was probably human, flicked her laptop charger. She took a second careful look at her fellow geeks and severely serious learners. Someone SOMEONE in this bunch was a cold blooded felon. She spent about an hour profiling the most suspicious looking of them, but they had different laptops. It was clearly a crime of passion. After a few discreet enquiries she gave up and returned reluctantly to the scintillating world of elastic load balancing.

She took the train back home, which is always fun, especially in the first floor, new perspective of a vast area.

Day 2

Was shopfront day. She heard about shopfronts, saw shopfronts, saw streams of people advertising shopfronts to come. She had no business cards to give out, only potato chips and a phone number. Didnt think it would cut it at this stage of the game, with this crowd.

Apparently she has levelled up to Senior Person somewhere along the way. This requires a LinkedIn Persona With Minimum X Recommends, a Network of people who Make Things Happen, a Website Resume, a Blog of Significant Achievement, and Other Things A Parent /*Admiring Epithets*/ At. Needless to say, she is creating all these things, to keep a toe in the water for the Next Uncertainty Event.

And of AWS? Shes going to try it, of course, its a powerful premise, plus shes always been a fangirl of Amazon ever since they brought the Kindle out.